Do these questions resonate with you?

The shadow is a psychological term for everything we can’t see in ourselves. Your shadow keeps you stuck. Our Shadow Self is our neglected inner child. And our greatest opportunity for building strength comes from the work of healing our woundedness.

It lies beneath the distractions of workaholism and comparison and bravado. It’s the stuff in the basement of our psyches that we’re not cleaning up.

Shadow
Shadow

We tend to avoid our Shadow by using various defence mechanisms such as:

Overachieving – spiritual bypassing under the guise of self-improvement.

We can’t tend to our pain if we’re shellacking it with positivity constantly.

Overworking to stay distracted from our perceived brokenness.

“If I just keep working hard, I’ll get what I want. I will be so industrious and devoted and good, that God will deliver me… because that’s how karma works, yeah?”
Nope.

Overconsumption and addictive habits from using mood-altering substances to buying stuff we don’t really need in order to feel and “look” better… temporarily.

Hanging out in superficial
relationships

to avoid being truly seen-felt-heard or intimate.

We Don't need to be fixed because we are not broken.

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We have a tendency to suppress or disown parts of ourselves that we reject as ‘indecent’, and collectively they make up our Shadow Self. Since we do not like to think of these as legitimate parts, we keep them dormant and untouched in the unconscious, until the day they get unexpectedly triggered by people or events. It is at those times that you find yourself acting out in ways that surprise or even frighten you. For example, if you identify as a tough person, and disown your own vulnerability, you may be caught-off-guard and suffer from internal conflict when you feel weak or dependent.


Sometimes, we project our shadows onto others. When you find yourself feeling irrationally irritated or disgusted by aspects of someone’s behaviour, it can point to something you are deeply frightened of seeing or having in yourself. (On the flip side, if you find yourself immensely attracted to certain attributes in others, you may have disowned your own Light!)

Your Shadows keep you stuck

So why does our shadow feel so unfamiliar and uncomfortable?

It has resided in our unconscious for so long and we are unaware of it. (The shadow often makes its first appearances in our dreams, leaving many people distressed at the intense, emotional and often vivid images that come forward.)
We deem the shadow unacceptable. We have cut it out, hidden, repressed or denied any trace of it in ourselves, the shadow is deeply connected to our shame around these disowned parts of our personality.
Deep down, we were scared of the shadow showing up because we felt that if anyone was to really see us and our shadow parts they would turn away, we would face total rejection and be left alone.

We need to learn how to accept all parts of us and develop a healthy sense of self-compassion and sovereignty. We need to learn how to discern instead of being quick to judge. And we need to realize that we are human beings of flesh and blood and that life is not always easy and does not always work in our favor. Unexpected challenges will always come our way – and no amount of “harsh discipline“ and “positive thinking“ will ever change that.

Therefore believing in denying our humanness and the hardships that are parts of life isn’t going to serve us. We need to focus on a more balanced approach that teaches us how to support ourselves through difficult times and show up for what we are experiencing. In being present with ourselves, learning to hold ourselves and allowing ourselves to fully feel our emotions – the pleasant ones as well as the unpleasant ones – so that we can process and release them and don’t need to hide them under an overcoat of pressure and false optimization.

When suppressed or projected, your Shadow can become destructive; it may erupt in depression, self-directed aggression or interpersonal hostility. It takes a lot of energy to constantly push down parts of ourselves. In fact, many people who find themselves chronically fatigued are able to benefit from psychological Shadow work.

Therapy and self- development is a process of uncovering both your light and shadow. Holistic health and true self-esteem come when we can accept all dimensions of ourselves. Through cultivating the capacity for self-compassion, you can learn to integrate your own Shadow— including your natural propensity to sometimes be angry, self-preserving, needy, and burn with envy.

Learning to accept the fullness of who you are is the first and final step of self love. Shadow work is not only the foundation but also one of the most powerful steps you can take towards true peace and aliveness.

If the above resonates, I look forward to exploring your nner world in depth with you!

'Until you make the
unconscious conscious,
It will direct your
life and you will
call it fate.'

Draw the
curtain:

Understanding
what the shadow
is and how it
is created?

The individuation
process:

The persona, the shadow,
the anima/ animus,
the ego and the
higher self.

Reveal
the reactivity:

Facing your
pain and fears-
Shadow work
preparation.
Find the origins:
Connecting with
your inner child,
identifying
your shadows and
self-acceptance.
Befriend
fear and grief:

Recognizing and
working with your
fear, anxiety
and grief.
Meet the fury
and the fire:

Discerning and
transforming
anger and
shame.
Self-love
and spiritual
awakening:

Gentleness
and
forgiveness.
Grounding in
your
source:

Anchoring
yourself in
your core.

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